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Husband: I found Aladin's lamp today.
Wife: wow, what did u ask for darling??
Husband: I asked him to increase your brain ten times..
Wife: oh..jaan..luv u so much.. Did he do that??
Husband: He laughed and said multiplication doesn't apply on zero.

Employee: Sir You are like a lion in the office! What about at home??
Boss: I am a lion at home too, But Goddess Durga sits on the lion there !

A man gifted his wife a diamond necklace for their anniversary 
and wife didn't speak to him for 6 months.
Was the necklace FAKE?
Nooooo! That was the deal :)

A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant.
As the food was served, the husband said, "the food looks delicious, let's eat."
Wife: say prayer before eating at home.
Husband: that's at home the chef knows how to cook.
All husbands can enjoy a quick laugh

Wife : Shall I prepare Sambar or Rasam today . 
Husband : First make it, we will name it later 

A frustrated husband in front of his laptop:
dear google, please do not behave like my wife...
Please allow me to complete my sentence before you start guessing & suggesting

A married man's prayer;
Dear God, u gave me childhood, u took it away
U gave me youth, u took it away.
U gave me a wife.......... Its been years now,
just reminding u....
I called my school time friend on phone, he said he was working on a special Project "Aqua Thermal treatment of Ceramics, Aluminium and Steel under a constrained environment". 

I was impressed, later I realized, saala bartan dhora tha , under the supervision of his wife !!

English is a Beautiful language !!
Chess is the only game in the world,
which reflects the status of the husband.
the poor king can take only one step at a time ...
While the mighty queen can do whatever she likes.
All Men are Brave,
Horror Movies don't Scare them....
But 5 Missed Calls from Wife ..surely does...
What's Marriage?
Answer- MARRIAGE Is The 7th Sense Of Humans
That Destroys All The Six Senses
And Makes The Person NON Sense..!
Definition Of Happy Couple -
HE Does What SHE Wants…
SHE Does What SHE Wants.
'Laughing At Your Own Mistakes, Can Lengthen Your Life."
"Laughing At ur Wife's Mistakes,Can Shorten ur Life."
-Shakespear's Wife
Son :- Why is 1st April celebrated as Fools Day ?
Father :- Because after paying all the taxes up to 31st March, we start working for the government again from 1st April
Dedicated to advocate friends....
One day before valentine's day, I saw one lawyer friend purchasing 40 valentine day cards from a gift shop..
On all the cards at sender's place, he wrote:
"Tumhari Jaan, hope you recognised me...Let us meet in evening. Love you "
When asked- he said last year valentine's day I posted such 20 cards in locality and got 05 cases of divorce..

Everything is fair in business